Forget about the Black Death or Typhoid Mary. The most dangerous carrier of infection in the land today is Toxic Trump, a walking, politically radioactive isotope who destroys the immune systems of anyone unfortunate enough to enter his orbit.

Trump has done the poorest job of hiring folks to fill key administration jobs of any President in history, and his toxicity may make him fall further behind in this effort, as it seems to be shortening the shelf lives of the few minions who are in place.

Former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn was the first of Trump’s victims. According to his attorney, Flynn is excited to share “the story he has to tell.” (That’s shorthand for trying to shed his illness in favor of immunity by selling out his former colleagues.)

Vice President Pence has just hired a personal attorney and is already busy raising PAC donations to pay for his anticipated legal bills after being caught up in, or being an active participant in, “the Russian problem.”

Former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort and campaign advisors Carter Page, Roger Stone, Rich Gates and J.D. Gordon have all fallen victim to the grim malady “Putin’s Revenge” and are reportedly receiving emergency medical treatment at an undisclosed facility within the FBI.
Recent lab-test results for longtime Trump attorney and White House advisor Michael Cohen were so disturbing that the lawyer has hired his OWN lawyer.

Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner and Education Secretary Betsy Devos’ brother Erik Prince are showing symptoms, too. They are both reportedly under investigation due to meetings they had with Russians after the November election about establishing back-channel communications with Putin.

Given their daily interactions with a highly infectious supervisor, every member of Trump's White House staff has been ordered to submit urine and blood samples three times each day to the special prosecutor.

There may be a silver lining to Trump’s killing powers, as his victims include the leadership of the government agencies most likely to cause Trump legal problems—the Department of Justice, the heads of the intelligence agencies, and the Congressional committees.

Attorney General Jeff Sessions had to recuse himself from the Russian probe after his annual physical revealed that his close contact with Trump and the Russians had led him to be infected. Now it looks as if Assistant Attorney General Rod Rosenstein will also have to check into the Recusal Ward. Acting FBI Director Andrew McCabe, National Security Agency Director Mike Rogers, and Director of National Intelligence Dan Coats were all so stricken due to their constant contact with Trump that they were rendered mute when they tried to testify before the Senate Intelligence Committee last week. CIA Director Mike Pompeo has been asked to turn over details of his conversations with Trump about the Russian investigation to Bob Meuller’s medical team. And House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes has been hospitalized after a psychotic episode resulting from repeated interactions with Trump.

What about the risk to Trump himself?

Trump and Typhoid Mary are examples of what the medical profession calls “asymptomatic carriers.” Such infected people have the power to sicken and possibly kill others, but are not themselves at risk of contracting the disease that they carry.

We don’t yet know what Trump’s fate will be, but we know what happened to Typhoid Mary. Mary Fallon, a restaurant worker who caused the deaths of between three and fifty people during the early 1900s, adamantly refused to believe she was a carrier of disease. She died alone, in quarantine.